When it comes to conflict between two people, there are two common ways that they usually handle it:
Swallow their anger and don’t deal with the issue or spew out the anger.
In the end, neither approach is productive for the relationship and often leads to one or the other feeling unsafe to express themselves.
The Speaker/Listener Technique is a structured technique used to safely and clearly communicate with your partner (especially when tensions are running high).
The goal for the technique is for both individuals to feel understood by the other. It is not the solution to the problem or an agreement, but it can help lead to a solution.
When the conversation is getting emotionally intense and you feel that you are unable to calmly express yourself…take a time out. Agree to a time to come back and finish the conversation (preferably in the same day). Do something to calm down and then return to the conversation using the Speaker Listener Technique.